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hi my name is Rachael

hi i am Rachael i have aspergers a lot of people don' t undrestand me or don't want to understand me but there are those that wonder what makes me different from them why i act weird or somtimes childish when it comes to things like trusting and talking to others well i want you all to see my point of view how i see the world is really different from most people well the best way to put it is to take a normal health sound mind person and put them in a object and spin them around and around and around until they are fully dizzy and then let them go in to the world and keep them dizzy while shinning bright lights and color and making all kinds of sound and also had in all kinds of smells textures and taste all at one time never let them get way from it may be let them go for a min or 2 but then grab them back as soon as they not so dizzy and do it all over again that how i feel almost 24/7 dont get me wrong i do somtimes dont feel that way but in public that all i do feel also another way to put it is someone that is normal in sound mind might be able to block out that they are setting in a chair while talking to someone well i cant i feel my self in that chair at all time and while ia m talking i am also thinking about the chair or maybe the sound of the fan a cross the room or the tv going while i am talking i also get stuck on making things in stright lines and also drawing with squares and cant stop until the drawing is finished not fully know what my drawing will be but it always seems to come out as a house or tree or something that u would not think u could do with square i also seem to be drawn to anything that i bright and shinny or spins it seem to ground me when i feel overloaded with things i have this feeling through out my body where i am so tight and upset that the only thing that helps me is to crawl into a small place or under a blanket and have someone press pillows all over me well that how i feel with aspergers others might feel different we are all different i know that but with me i have always had trouble with understanding my feeling and emotions i also have trouble relateing to other people's feelings but i try i also seem to not have any normal female eargs to find a soul mate or anything i dont know if that part of aspergers or not it like this when i see people i just see a person i dont see anything more then that if anyone could help me understand more about aspergers other then what i feel and have lived through with it cause i did not find out until i was 19 that i had it cause they labeled me seletive mute and dislexic dont get me wrong i am dislexic i also have a studder that not realted to the aspergers as far as i really know i also don't know how to drive like most 23 year olds but i dont think i am ment to drive i also have other fears and issues but thoses i dont know if they are related or not but i thought i show you all my point of view i hope you can make sence of what i just worte i dont always write well i know that for a fact but well i better go i worte enough if u need to contact me you may on here

sorry i have not been writing much

i am sorry i have not been writing much my parents are in the middle of fighting and getting a divoce and i been getting well from being sick on tueday of this week we lost almost everything in a crash of our van we hit a 8 point deer plz pray for my family

hi there sorry i been sick in the hospital

hi there i was in the hospital for 2 days i got ulcers in my belly and bowels so i am no feeling my best still so if i go missing again that where i am back at the hospital i want to know if any other people with aspergers had any trouble with their bellys or bowels if so leave me a coment

hi there

sorry i have not been around i been up in Austin MN helping my sister fix up her house for the winter and get away from my daddy for a while

hi

hi i am ok i did have a bad melt down a few days ago and it last for 4 hours but i am ok now it drained me for a few days after the melt downs if anyone that has aspergers ever had a draining feeling after having a melt down you know what i felt like

hi there

hi there all the surgery went well the other day today i am just setting here doing computer games and watching cartoons on tv